Vanity, Aging and Jan Brady

I really don't think of myself as vain. Actually other than the 30 minutes I spend getting ready for the day, I don't really think much about how I look. In fact I'm a little put out when I accidentally see myself in the mirror in the middle of the day and think to myself that I really should go and put on some lipstick or redo my hair. Don't get me wrong, I can be very narcissistic and selfish, those things just manifest themselves in other ways.

I guess I like how I look, since I really couldn't do a lot about my facial features, I have just always accepted them. I do like my large eyes. I like that they are so expressive. I have a big nose but it hasn't ever really bothered me. I have a large wide smile that I know is friendly. Big eyes, big nose, big mouth, that pretty much sums me up.

I also have freckles. I do love freckles across the tops of little noses. It isn't that I liked or don't like mine, they were just a part of my face so I accepted them. I remember when Jan Brady put lemon juice on her freckles to get rid of them and I thought that was strange. I must admit that I do feel self-conscious about my teeth (I wish they were straighter) but the only times I really think about them is when I am getting my picture taken.

So, a few of weeks ago as I was getting ready for church and I saw some, well, I guess they are age spots, on my cheek. (think large faint freckles) What?! Age spots? This discovery has kind of thrown me for a loop but have been unsure why. I mean I had no problem telling my hairdresser I didn't want to color my hair even though I've got some noticeable gray. I can also see lines around my eyes that weren't there a few years ago, that hasn't bothered me either. Why then are these age spots bugging me so much?

Maybe I've always taken my clear skin for granted. Maybe because the lines and the gray came on so gradually, it hasn't been shocking. Maybe I was just surprised. And, well, maybe I am vainand just never thought so before now. I still only think about it during that mirror time in the morning but I think about it almost everyday. Hm, well, I hope I don't sound too whiny, I really just wanted to journal this unexpected event.

When I showed Paul the spots on my cheek, he told me that they made me look distinguished. :)