An Open Letter to Myself

St. George Dance Festival with Mitchell Blake who was kind enough to be my partner.

Is it safe yet to admit how much that I LOVED wearing this dress?

Dear 14 year old Rachel,

I'm so happy for this opportunity, I hope that what I tell you will be well received. Don't get wrapped up about how this is possible, I don't really understand it myself. It has something to do with a flux capacitor. Actually, you aren't going to get that reference because that movie isn't coming out for a couple more years. Sorry.

First of all, Relax. Don't worry and don't panic when things don't go as planned. Things will work out, and usually better than if they had gone the way you planned them. Also, you are mean when you get stressed out. Don't do that. Being stressed out doesn't give you permission to be a jerk. You look like a moron and are always sorry later.

Spend time with your dad.

Never let a curly blond hairstylist cut your hair. Just trust me.

Find the good in each season of your life. Wonderful or terrible, comfortable or trying, it is just a season.

Learn stuff. I know that formal education isn't working for you right now. Talk to your parents about an alternative, they will be more open to the idea than you think. I know you already love to read but read even more. You'll be glad you did.

Drink some caffeine before you read or when you need to concentrate. You'll understand why later.

Be generous. I know you don't feel like you have a lot to give right now but you do. Use your sense of humor to put people at ease, not to cut and hurt. Sarcasm might make you feel clever in the moment but it is not generous and will never, ever make you feel proud of yourself.

You are good at noticing what people need emotionally. Tell people the nice things that you think about them. A sincere compliment is always appropriate.

Buy Apple/Mac stock but not until 1997.

You're beautiful and smart. Don't believe that crap you keep telling yourself when you look in the mirror.

Most people are good, some are not. When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

Last, I know you dream about that knight in shining armor and wonder if he is really out there somewhere. Don't worry, he is. You'll find each other and it will be great. You'll know as soon as you see him. Trust yourself, trust him. Don't listen to those who are discouraging to the two of you. Not only do they not know what they are talking about. They are just plain wrong. And just so you know, he is even better than what you imagine he will be. He is going to save you.

Have fun and don't worry so much. There is so much good ahead of you! Enjoy it!

I'll see you in about 28 years.

Love,

42 year old Rachel