Thursday, August 6, 2009

"Bye mom!"

So we had moved to Virginia in April of 1996. That May a couple of weeks before school got out, I took Robin to get her all sign up for Kindergarten the next fall. It had already been a very tough year and it was with a heavy heart that I was signing my girl up to leave me.

Robin and Paul played next to me in the office as I filled out the stack of papers they gave me.

The principal came in and introduced herself to me. She explained that when ever they had a new student come in, they assigned another student, a 6th grader, to take them around and show them the school. I smiled and said, "That sounds very nice but I don't know if she is ready." The principal smiled back knowingly and nodded at Robin. I turned around to see Robin at the door of the office, "Bye mom!" she said unafraid and confident, as she followed the 6th grade girl she had been assigned to, out the door.

She was ready even if I was not.

An hour or so later, we were walking to the car. Buses were pulling away loaded with hot tired kids on their way home. Pauly wanted to watch them so we stopped. As I watched I felt terrified; I thought, "Maybe this isn't good. What if someone is mean to her? What if she hears bad words? What if her teacher doesn't appreciate how wonderful she is?" I was so sad and scared and sorrowful.

I stood there a minute paralyzed, when all of a sudden I was enveloped in the most beautiful feeling of love and peace and then my heart was spoken to. I was told a lot of things in that moment but mostly, "Everything is going to be fine Rachel, you don't need to worry." And I knew . . . I knew this was just the beginning of a most wonderful adventure for our girl.

I also knew people were going to be mean to her sometimes but mostly she would have lots of friends from all over. And she was definitely going to hear words I didn't want her to hear but mostly she was going to hear new ideas that would open her mind and she would get to see the world through eyes, other than her parents'. She would also most likely have a few teachers who didn't love her and appreciate her like I did but mostly she would have teachers who saw her potential, would feed her curiosity and help her to become even better than I could have imagined.

All of these things, the good and the bad, were all going work together to create this incredible Robin! She was going to learn so much! She was going to see so much! She was going to be in her element and she was going to love it! I left the school feeling so calm and happy for her . . . for me . . . and for the future.

. . . I still followed her bus all the way to the school the first day.


robin k said...

Rachel, I'm often crying at the end of your posts. This one is bittersweet. You're a great writer.

Mindi said...

love that story--your baby girl is not a baby anymore.

i often times think i'm missing that mothering gene because i'm turning cartwheels and hiring clowns when my kids go to school.

Mom in Mendon said...

Misty eyed here, too.

And Mindi always makes me laugh.

Nana Donna said...

I loved how you were so concerned about Robin as I took you to the airport......I thought for a moment you were going to jump back in my car and tell me to head for Provo. I am very proud of you!